Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Mother: How do you like your new teacher?
Son: I don’t. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn’t give me one!

Son: I can’t go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don’t feel well
Father: Where don’t you feel well?
Son: In school!

Mother: How did you find school today?
Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn’t you?
Pupil: Not very much!

What would happen if you took the school bus home?
The police would make you bring it back!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what’s so great about that?
It’s snowing outside!

Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Pupil: I get up early!