• Landing at a hidden military base

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Landing at a hidden military base
    You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?”
    Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into [...]

  • His military etiquette

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    His military etiquette
    Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
    Soldier: Sure, buddy.
    Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again.
    Do you have change for a dollar?
    Soldier: No, SIR!

  • Military traditions

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Military traditions
    Top Holiday Traditions In The Military
    9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
    8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
    7. Draw up list of who’s naughty, who’s nice and who can’t run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant
    6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530
    5. You open a gift and surprise! It’s [...]

  • Military work rules

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Military work rules
    1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer’s statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work.
    2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. [...]

  • High military ranks

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    High military ranks
    When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough.
    “That’s the only way to command respect in the Army,” his friends said.
    So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth.
    “Show me a [...]

  • Military Christmas

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Military Christmas
    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
    Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
    Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
    As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.
    Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
    Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,
    And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
    That nothing that flew could [...]

  • Reward these soldiers for their work

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Reward these soldiers for their work
    A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
    Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. “Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General [...]

  • Lease nuclear weapons

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Lease a Nuke!
    Want power and respect? Want to influence the course of world events? Want to be on CNN every night? Tired of hum-drum conventional warfare and messy bio-chemical weapons? Want to watch the citizens of your favorite arcology squirm and sweat in constant nagging fear of instant and unexpected anhilation?
    Lease a nuclear device!
    In the [...]