Archive for the ‘Little Johnny’ Category
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Little Johnny Needs A Bike
Little Johnny Needs A Bike
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard [...] -
Little Johnny’s father
Little Johnny’s father asked him, “Do you know about the birds and the bees?”
“I don’t want to know!” little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.
“Oh dad,” Little Johnny sobbed, “At age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no [...] -
Teacher asked Johnny
One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.
The Teacher asked, “Johnny, what are you doing?”
Then, Johnny said, “It hurts down there.”
“Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home”, said the teacher.
A little while [...] -
Little Johnny was sitting in class
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,”Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”
The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’
Please use the [...] -
Little Johnny walks into school
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.
She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an “r” after the first letter.”
The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.”
A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little [...] -
Little Johnny in the back
The teacher says, “Okay, class, we’re going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word ‘perhaps’ in it.”
Claude says, “Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won’t give us any homework.”
The teacher says, “Very good, Claude.”
Mary says, “The sky is very dark… perhaps it’s going to rain.” [...] -
Johnny raised his hand
In school Mrs. Rogers was playing a word game with the kids.
She would shout out a letter and then pick on a student, and the student would pick a word that starts with the letter.
Mrs. Rogers said the letter “B” and Johnny raised his hand.
Since Mrs. Rogers thought he’d say bitch She called on Sally [...] -
who created the universe
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD [...] -
Santa Likes Girls
Santa Likes Girls
A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says “I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y ?”
The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says ” I bet you want [...] -
Which body part goes to heaven first
The teacher asks Little Johnny “Which body part goes to heaven first?”
Little Johnny replies “The feet miss”
So the teacher says “Why the feet?”
And Little Johnny says “Because when I go in my mummys bedroom at night she has her legs in the air shouting ‘Oh my God I’m coming’” -
Little Johnny goes to school
Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag
She reaches her hand in it and says it’s round, it’s got a stem, and it’s got a leaf.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says it’s an apple, it’s an apple.
Then he says now let me give you one.
He reaches his [...] -
20 Questions With Little Johnny
20 Questions With Little Johnny
One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions.
So the teacher says “OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and red”
Little Suzy pipes up “I know, it’s a tomato”.
“No but you’re thinking, it’s an apple” replies the teacher.
So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket [...] -
Little Johnny’s Camp Trip
Little Johnny’s Camp Trip
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks “Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?”.
His teacher replies “NO”
Johnny moans and says “But my mummy lets me”.
“OK then, just for tonight” the [...] -
Little Johnny Fun With Elements
Little Johnny Fun With Elements
In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?”
Little Stevie raised his hand and said, “I would [...] -
MOMMY MOMMY I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND
MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND
Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods.
Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
“MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT [...] -
is god a man or a woman
is god a man or a woman
Little Johnny goes to his father and asks, “Dad, is god a man or a woman?”
His Dad replies, “Johnny, both. God is both.”
Johnny asks, “Dad, is god black or white?’
His Dad says, “Both. God is both.”
Ok, then Johnny asks, “Dad, is Michael Jackson God?” -
Johnny’s gambling
Johnny’s gambling
One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”
So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an [...]
