Archive for the ‘polish jokes’ Category
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POLISH POPE
POLISH POPE
A traveling salesman has an audience with the Pope and, not quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke… “Have you heard the one about the two Polish priests, Holy Father?”
“But I am Polish, my son.”
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QUITE A STRUGGLE
QUITE A STRUGGLE
A Polish man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets.
“You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?” asked one of the muggers incredulously. “Is that all you wanted?” [...] -
MORE QUICKIES
MORE QUICKIES
Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library?
A: Someone stole the book.
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Poland?
A: They forgot the recipe.
Q: What are the two biggest Polish lies?
A: The check’s in your mouth, and I won’t come in the mail.
Q: [...] -
PREMEDITATION
PREMEDITATION
Question: Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
Answer: On her dressing table he found a bottle of “Polish Remover”. -
POLISH OFF THAT VODKA
POLISH OFF THAT VODKA
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, “That’s a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since
I arrived from the old [...] -
A Guy walks into a bar
A Guy walks into a bar, sits downs and starts to make conversation with guy at next table. “Want to hear the world’s worst Polish Joke?” The other guy says “Sure, but before you tell it, let me tell you something. See those two bikers over there by the door, those tow real mean-looking dudes? [...]
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POLISH HOCKEY
POLISH HOCKEY
Heard about the Polish hockey team? They all drowned during spring training. -
Polish National Forest Service
Question: Who wears a forest ranger’s hat and carries a can of kerosene?
Answer: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service. -
The Polish soldiers
The Polish were entrenched on the front opposite the Germans during one of the battles of WWII. As hard as they tried, the Germans couldn’t hit any of the Polish soldiers because they kept low in the ditches.
Finally one of the Germans hit upon an idea. “Hey Krachevski, is that you?” [...] -
menu at a Polish hotel
On the menu at a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion. -
LANDING STRIP
LANDING STRIP
Polish Airways flight 113 was descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to his copilot, “Holy crap! Look how short that runway is! I’ve never seen one so short!”
The copilot [...] -
KNACKWURST
KNACKWURST
There are three construction workers on top of a building having lunch. One Italian, one Polish, and one Oriental. The Italian man has a meatball hero, the Oriental man has noodles, and the Polish man has knackwurst. The Italian and the Oriental are tired of having the same lunches everyday.
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Kamikazki
Kamikazki
A Polish kamikaze has flown 48 successful missions. -
IDENTITY CRISIS
IDENTITY CRISIS
There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, “I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, [...] -
GONE FISHING
GONE FISHING
These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, “We’ll have to come back here tomorrow!” The other asks, “But how will we remember where this [...] -
GO AHEAD AND JUMP!
GO AHEAD AND JUMP!
A Polish man wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Pole to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that [...] -
FUNERAL AT SEA
FUNERAL AT SEA
Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave. -
FIRST IN LINE
FIRST IN LINE
Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a
theater? They were waiting to see the movie “Closed for the Winter.” -
DUMB AS A BAG OF NAILS
DUMB AS A BAG OF NAILS
These two Poles are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away.
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DRESS ME FATHER
DRESS ME FATHER
A Polish man saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his collar, he stopped him and said, “Excuse me, but why are you wearing your shirt backwards?”
The priest laughed, “Because, my son, I am a Father!” The Pole scratched his head. “But I am [...]
