Archive for the ‘Stupid’ Category
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Coffee Dilemma
Coffee Dilemma
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee“.
The husband said, ” You are in charge of the cooking around here and [...] -
Posh Fart
Posh Fart
A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs.
Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it.
As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her ‘little accident’ and hopes a sales person does [...] -
Ugliest Kid Ever
Ugliest Kid Ever
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. “Lady“, said the drunk, “that’s the ugliest kid I’ve ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!.” As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. [...] -
No Toilet Paper
No Toilet Paper
There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.
Half way there he said, “man i really gotta take a dump.” he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.
While he was taking this dump he [...] -
The Head
The Head
There once was a boy called Matty who didnt have a body, he only had a head.
Then it came to his 18th birthday, so his dad who felt sorry for him took for a pint down the local pub, Matty was very excited about having his 1st drink of alcohol , so the proud [...] -
Lost in the Middle of Nowhere
Lost in the Middle of Nowhere
One day three guys were driving in the middle of nowhere when their car broke down.
They got out and looked around at their surroundings.
Finally, the first guy says, “I’m gonna go look for some food.”
The other two guys say, “Why?”.
“So we can eat of course.” says the first guy.
Once the [...] -
Two Muffins
Two Muffins
So there’s these 2 muffins in an oven.
They’re both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells “God Damn, it’s hot in here!”
And the other muffin replies “Holy Crap, a talking muffin!”
