• Dead Baby Jokes 14

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    How do you get a baby to run faster?
    Chase it with the lawn mower.
    What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
    Hold on. I’ll tell you in a second.
    What’s pink and spits?
    A baby in a frying pan.
    What’s the best sound in the world?
    Hearing dead baby’s hips crack under pressure!
    How many dead [...]

  • Dead Baby Jokes 13

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    What’s the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
    I don’t have a Cadillac in my garage.
    What’s the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
    Threesomes.
    What is the definition of revenge?
    A baby with a dog in its mouth.
    What’s the difference between a baby and a bagel?
    You can put a bagel in the toaster. You [...]

  • Dead Baby Jokes 12

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    What’s worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
    A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
    What’s the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
    It’s really easy to turn on a lamp.
    What’s pink and chunky?
    A baby with leprosy.
    Why did the baby cross the road?
    It was stapled to the chicken.
    What’s the difference between a dead baby [...]

  • Dead Baby Jokes 10

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
    They’re fun to ride until they die.
    What’s red, screams and goes around in circles?
    A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.
    What bounces up and down at 100mph?
    A baby tied to the back of a truck.
    How do you get a baby out of a tree?
    You give [...]

  • Dead Baby Jokes 8

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
    With a blender!
    Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first ?
    To see the expression on it face!
    How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
    4 1/2.
    What’s red and lies in all four corners of the room?
    A baby that’s been playing with a chainsaw.
    What is [...]

  • Dead Baby Jokes 7

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
    Stick a javelin through it’s head.
    What’s blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
    A baby with a punctured lung.
    Why did the baby fall off the swing?
    Because it had no arms or legs.
    What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
    A baby chewing on razor [...]

  • Dead Baby Jokes 5

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
    When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
    What’s the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
    You can’t gargle gravel.
    What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby’s jaw?
    Deep Throat.
    What is better than a dead baby?
    The revoked child-support.
    Why [...]

  • Dead Baby jokes 3

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
    The dog plays with it more.
    What’s blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
    A baby with a punctured lung.
    What’s purple, covered in pus and squeals?
    A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
    What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
    A baby [...]

  • Knitting In The Waiting Room

    Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

    Knitting In The Waiting Room
    Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
    “What was that?” The others asked her.
    “Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy.” A few minutes later, [...]

  • Day After Christmas

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    Day After Christmas
    The pastor was looking over the crèche the day after Christmas when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing. He went outside and saw a little boy pulling a new red wagon. In the wagon was Jesus.
    We walked up to the boy and said, “Hi, there. Where did you get the baby [...]

  • Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks

    Friday, September 19th, 2008

    Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks

    You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.
    Please, baby, let me withhold you.
    Nice assets.
    Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
    In my office, I.R.S. stands for I’m Really Sexy.
    Let’s fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I’m a 40.
    If I help you screw Uncle Sam, [...]