• Dirty Christmas Poem

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Dirty Christmas Poem
    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
    The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
    The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
    It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
    Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom [...]

  • The Hypnotist Accident

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    The Hypnotist Accident
    The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.
    A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town’s people sat fascinated as [...]

  • Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
    - You answer the door before people knock.
    - Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
    - You ski uphill.
    - You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
    - You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
    - You lick your coffeepot clean.
    - You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and [...]

  • No Toilet Paper

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    No Toilet Paper
    There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.
    Half way there he said, “man i really gotta take a dump.” he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.
    While he was taking this dump he [...]

  • Wedding preparation guidelines

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    Wedding preparation guidelines
    Announcement:
    It is the responsibility of the bride’s family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal [...]

  • Twas the Night After Christmas

    Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

    Twas the Night After Christmas
    ‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
    Christmas Present
    The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas [...]