• Best Sex He Ever Had

    Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

    Best Sex He Ever Had
    A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They’re having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure; she was shaking and foaming at the mouth.
    Our uninformed male [...]

  • victims of land

    Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

    victims of land
    In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
    Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong… I can’t feel my legs!
    Doctor: Yes, we’ve had to amputate both your arms.

  • Kids at the Wedding

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    Kids at the Wedding
    At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
    The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, “I was just trying to be a good ring [...]

  • The tradition at weddings

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    The tradition at weddings
    A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”
    His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
    The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing [...]

  • Poor guy

    Sunday, October 5th, 2008

    Poor guy
    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of [...]

  • What did the boy

    Friday, October 3rd, 2008

    What did the boy
    What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
    “I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.”
    ————————————-
    What did the cannibal have for lunch?
    Baked beings (beans).
    ————————————-
    What do bees do with all their honey?
    Cell (sell) it.
    —————————————
    What do liars do after they die?
    Lie still.
    —————————————
    What do two oceans say when they [...]

  • Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks

    Friday, September 19th, 2008

    Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks

    You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.
    Please, baby, let me withhold you.
    Nice assets.
    Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
    In my office, I.R.S. stands for I’m Really Sexy.
    Let’s fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I’m a 40.
    If I help you screw Uncle Sam, [...]