• Dirty Christmas Poem

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Dirty Christmas Poem
    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
    The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
    The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
    It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
    Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom [...]

  • Santa Problems

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Santa Problems
    Santa was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman was awaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying “Ho -ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know.”
    Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her [...]

  • Pudding Surprise

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Pudding Surprise
    Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of [...]

  • The Hypnotist Accident

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    The Hypnotist Accident
    The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.
    A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town’s people sat fascinated as [...]

  • The Black Sheep

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    The Black Sheep
    A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
    One day the wife of the tribe’s chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look here! [...]

  • Magic Apples

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Magic Apples
    A young fellow ran into an old man who was carring a bag.
    “What’s in the bag?” the youngster asked.
    “magic apples”, the old man replied.
    “Prove it”, said the young man.
    “Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?” asked the old man.
    “Watermelon and peaches”, he answered.
    The man handed him an apple and told him to [...]

  • Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
    - You answer the door before people knock.
    - Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
    - You ski uphill.
    - You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
    - You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
    - You lick your coffeepot clean.
    - You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and [...]

  • The Tatoo

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    The Tatoo
    A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.
    So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then [...]

  • Parachute Trouble

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Parachute Trouble
    A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He [...]

  • Don’t Fart in Bed

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    Don’t Fart in Bed
    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
    years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
    Every morning she [...]

  • Jewish Samurai

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    The Jewish Samurai
    Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.
    A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese [...]

  • The Fire Truck

    Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

    The Fire Truck
    A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
    She is wearing a fireman’s hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says [...]