Birthday Jokes 37

Monday, April 6th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 37
What does a clam do on his birthday?
He shellabrates!

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Did you hear about the time Eddy’s sister tried to make a birthday cake? The candles melted in the oven.

Birthday Jokes 34

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

Birthday Jokes 34
You know you’re growing old when the heat from the candles on the birthday cake keeps you from getting close enough to blow them out.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, [...]

Birthday Jokes 33

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

Birthday Jokes 33
My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people’s birthdays. She says she doesn’t think people would like margarine as a present.
You know you’re growing old when by the time you’ve lit the last candle on the birthday cake, the first one has burned out.
Her husband leaned over and asked, “Well, dear, what [...]

Birthday Jokes 32

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

Birthday Jokes 32
Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?”
“I can’t tell. There are too many wrinkles.”
When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color [...]

Birthday Jokes 31

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

Birthday Jokes 31
For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater.
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!
Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!

Birthday Jokes 29

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 29
If there are 23 people in a room, there’s a 50% chance that two of them will share a birthday (it’s been proven mathematically).
“Did you go shopping for my birthday present?”
Yeah, and I found the perfect thing.”
“What thing is that?”
“Nothing!”
Cat: “What did you get him for his birthday?”
Dog: “Pant . . . pant!”
Cat: [...]

Birthday Jokes 27

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 27
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Mark.
Mark who?
Mark your calendars . . . my birthday’s just around the corner!

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
/li>

When I was a [...]

Birthday Jokes 25

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 25
“I’m giving a ’surprised’ birthday party for you.”
“A ’surprised’. birthday party? What’s that?”
“That’s where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I’ll be surprised!”
Q: What did the big candle say to the little candle?
A: “You’re too young to go out.
“I guess I didn’t get my birthday wish.”
“How [...]

Birthday Jokes 23

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Birthday Jokes 23
Q: Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
Q: Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”

Birthday Jokes 20

Friday, March 20th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 20
Q: What’s the best way to find out an elephant’s age?
A: Check his driver’s license.
Q: How can you tell that you’re getting old?
A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
Q: What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
A: “Happy Birthday To Gnu!”

Birthday Jokes 18

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 18
Q: Did you hear about the flag’s birthday?
A: It was a flappy one!
Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!
Q: What do you say to a cat on her birthday?
A: Happy birthday to mew!

Birthday Jokes 16

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 16
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!
Q: How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A: He has a whale of a party!
Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake, of course!

Birthday Jokes 15

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 15
Q: Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?
A: He heard they were having upside-down cake
Q; What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles?
A: The fire department.
Man 1: “I got my wife a VCP for her birthday.”
Man 2: “Don’t you mean a VCR?”
Man 1: “No, a VCP [...]

Birthday Jokes 13

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 13
Q. What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A. Angel food cake!
Q: Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday?
A: It was a tappy one!
Q: What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
A: Shortcake!

Birthday Jokes 11

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 11
Q: Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?
A: On his birthday flake!
Q: What greeting card if on sale only in Kentucky?
A: “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad.”
Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: “Hey, what’s eating you?”

Birthday Jokes 9

Monday, March 9th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 9

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When it’s been sliced.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party?
A: Look for his footprints in the ice cream.
“When’s your birthday?”
“July 23.”
“What year?”
“Every year!”

Birthday Jokes 5

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Birthday Jokes 5
Q: What was the average age of a cave man?
A: Stone Age!
Q: What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
A: “Hi, Buster.”
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!

Birth day Jokes 3

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Birth day Jokes 3
Q: Why did the man act wild and crazy on his birthday?
A: He was trying to age disgracefully.
Q: Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?
A: Because he had been told to ice it.
Q: Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?
A: Because you said it was pound [...]

Demise of a partner

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

Demise of a partner
One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in [...]

POLISH POPE

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

POLISH POPE
A traveling salesman has an audience with the Pope and, not quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke… “Have you heard the one about the two Polish priests, Holy Father?”
“But I am Polish, my son.”
[...]