• Catfish and Lawyers

    Sunday, February 8th, 2009

    Catfish and Lawyers
    What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
    One’s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

  • catch a thief

    Friday, February 6th, 2009

    catch a thief
    The old adage that “It takes a thief to catch a thief” may indeed be true.
    But these days there’s a 3rd thief involved pleading the case — the lawyer.

  • Knowing the facts

    Saturday, January 31st, 2009

    Knowing the facts
    The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
    At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did not remember every single detail of an automobile accident. While the lawyer knew that [...]

  • Demise of a partner

    Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

    Demise of a partner
    One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
    “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in [...]

  • so materialistic

    Monday, January 26th, 2009

    so materialistic
    One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver’s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew [...]

  • Popes And Lawyers

    Friday, January 16th, 2009

    Popes And Lawyers
    Once a Pope and a lawyer died and they went to heaven. So God came and said, ‘Follow me and I will give you your rooms.’
    So they both followed. First God gave the Pope his room. It was very small with a small bed and a small desk.
    ‘Thank you, thank you my lord,’ [...]

  • Night At The Barn

    Thursday, January 15th, 2009

    Night At The Barn
    A lawyer and two friends–a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man–had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
    The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in [...]

  • run over lawyer

    Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

    whats the difference between a run over dog and a run over lawyer?
    the dog has skid marks before it

  • You won’t go to jail

    Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

    You won’t go to jail
    A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right. When the man was [...]

  • Lawyer 12

    Monday, December 29th, 2008

    Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
    A: Law school.
    Q: How do you define double jeopardy?
    A: When a lawyer calls in her partner.
    Q: What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?
    A: All the information you need, but you can’t understand a word of it.
    Q: What’s worse than pleading guilty to murder?
    A: [...]

  • Lawyer 8

    Friday, December 26th, 2008

    Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
    A: No changes occur.
    Q: What’s the difference between God and an attorney?
    A: God doesn’t think he’s an attorney.
    Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
    A: Never enough.
    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: [...]

  • Lawyer 5

    Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

    Q: What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?
    A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
    Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
    A: Because deep down, they’re really nice guys.
    Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits [...]

  • Lawyer 3

    Sunday, December 21st, 2008

    Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
    A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
    Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
    A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
    Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of [...]

  • Lawyer 2

    Saturday, December 20th, 2008

    Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
    A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
    Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
    A: Professional courtesy.
    Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
    A: Not enough sand.
    Q: Why did God [...]

  • Lawyer 1

    Friday, December 19th, 2008

    Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
    A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!
    Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
    A: Shoot the lawyer [...]