• Coffee Dilemma

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    Coffee Dilemma
    A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee“.
    The husband said, ” You are in charge of the cooking around here and [...]

  • No Toilet Paper

    Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

    No Toilet Paper
    There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.
    Half way there he said, “man i really gotta take a dump.” he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.
    While he was taking this dump he [...]

  • Text jokes 2

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all
    things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
    At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking
    coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text! pass on
    The longest sentence known to man: “I [...]

  • How to Get Into Heaven

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    A man dies and mets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, “Here’s how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you’ve done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one [...]

  • one liner jokes 1

    Saturday, December 6th, 2008

    What do you call a woman with one leg?
    - Ilene
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
    - Matt
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
    - Bob
    What did the left nut say to the right nut?
    The guy in the middle [...]

  • Women Stages of Life

    Friday, December 5th, 2008

    Women Stages of Life
    Favorite drink:
    Age 17: Wine Coolers
    Age 25: White wine
    Age 35: Red wine
    Age 48: Dom Perignon
    Age 66: Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
    Excuses for refusing dates:
    17: Need to wash my hair
    25: Need to wash and condition my hair
    35: Need to colour my hair
    48: Need to have Francois color my hair
    66: Need to have [...]

  • A man walks into a bar

    Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

    A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies.
    “What’s wrong with you?” The barman says.
    “In my car I’ve got a nymphomaniac - you couldn’t satisfy her if you were there ’til Christmas,” he replies.
    “We’ll see about that,” says the barman and goes out to the [...]

  • Fart Football

    Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

    Fart Football

    Americas Best MySpace Comments
    An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,”Seven Points.”
    His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”
    The old man replied, “It’s fart football!”
    A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - [...]

  • I think Santa Claus is a woman

    Sunday, October 5th, 2008

    I think Santa Claus is a woman
    I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she.
    Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
    For starters, the vast majority of men [...]