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Don’t Fart in Bed
Don’t Fart in Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she [...] -
Marriage is not a word
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
Don’t marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper.
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
May [...] -
The bride upon her engagemen
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like father!” Her mother replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”
A lady inserted an “ad” in the classifieds: “Husband wanted”. Next day she received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
Marriage [...] -
first year of marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somewhat deteriorate during the night.
Why is Hillary upset?
Because she [...] -
When a newly married couple smiles
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.
Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the [...] -
wedding ring
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
There are two times a man does’nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man!
A woman worries about the future until [...] -
Have long marriages
Have long marriages
Some people ask the secret of Anthony’s long marriage.
They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.
The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays -
A way to save your marriage
A way to save your marriage
A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.
The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, “If you wish to save your marriage, you’d better be a little boulder.” -
A very desperate marriage
A very desperate marriage
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never [...] -
Wedding preparation guidelines
Wedding preparation guidelines
Announcement:
It is the responsibility of the bride’s family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal [...] -
Like Father, Like Husband?
Like Father, Like Husband?
If it’s true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings. -
An organization that makes men fear marriage
An organization that makes men fear marriage
The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men’s club, Bachelors’ Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They [...] -
The tradition at weddings
The tradition at weddings
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”
His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing [...]
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