• Naughty Christmas Card

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    Naughty Christmas Card
    Moneys short times are hard heres a fucking chritstmas card
    It was the night before christmas and all through the house everybody felt shitty even the mouse.
    Moms at the whore house Dads smokin’ grass I just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
    When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter I [...]

  • girls first time

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    Girls first time
    As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
    He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the [...]

  • Helping hand

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    A helping hand
    Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker.
    She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked [...]

  • Kiss without touching lips

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    Kiss without touching lips
    John said to Mary, “I’ll bet you ten cents I can kiss you on the lips without touching them.”
    “You’re crazy,” said Mary. “That’s impossible. Here’s a dime that says you can’t.”
    The two dimes were placed on the mantelpiece and John then enfolded Mary and for ten minutes kissed her passionately, intimately, and [...]

  • Blind man

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    Blind man
    A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
    “I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order [...]

  • Towel Drop

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    Towel Drop
    A beautiful young woman gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around her and tells her husband that he can get in the shower. As he enters the shower, the doorbell rings.
    The wife says she’ll get the door and goes downstairs.
    When she opens the door, she sees her neighbour, Bill, whose mouth opens [...]

  • Norse Gods Orgy

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    In ancient times the great Norse gods were engaged in a protracted orgy. It had gone on for several days.
    Finally, all were completely sated.
    The first to rouse from his slumber was the Great Norse God Thor. He stood, reached down, picked up his wrap and placed it around his waist.
    He looked around the Great Hall, [...]

  • The many uses of vasoline

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
    Steve’s girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents one evening. He drives his [...]

  • A little Boy visits a whore house

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    A little boy about 10 years old was walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, &quotI want [...]

  • Dress of Love

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.
    The mother asks the daughter, What are you doing naked?”
    The daughter responds, This is the dress of love.”
    When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband.
    When her husband arrives, he asks her, What are you [...]

  • 3 guys in a strip club

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    There were these three guys in a strip club and the first guy had 15 dollars, the 2nd guy had 10 and the 3rd guy had 5. Well the 3rd guy went backstage with one of the girls and he came back smiling and everyone was like what did she do to you and he [...]

  • Santa Hates Your Kid

    Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

    Santa Hates Your Kid
    8. Kid’s letter to north pole comes back stamped, “Dream on, Chester!” Snowman
    7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
    6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
    5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
    4. Christmas day, your kid [...]